hi tech - lo fat

from ammocity.com

technology
hi tech - lo fat
by cameron blue
jun 13, 2003, 18:26

lager, lager, lager

the summer is now with us, holidays are beckoning and it’s time to get the designer t-shirt off on the beach. perhaps a bit worrying if you’ve been a bit of a beer monster and you’re getting a bit of a pod up front. it was easy during the winter months especially with hip hop stylee baggy t’s and tru’s being de rigueur around shoreditch et al. no wonder so many ‘kids’ approaching 30 are still dressing like teenagers.

and it’s not just the guys that are secretly fretting about their love handles, the girls are worrying about the appearance of cellulite, stretch marks and keeping their boobs as perky as a 17 year old's.

there’s an argument made popular by the likes of naomi wolf in her book ‘the beauty myth’ that this self-consciousness is the result of a media war against consumers to get them to buy beauty products. her book is a debate about the dynamics of media vs self worth and at the time was regarded as feminist literature. today as men are becoming more like women as women are becoming more like men – at least in the imagery of mass media – the arguments now hold across both sexes.

mmm, come to daddy...

the argument reads that media encourages thoughts such as will i be happier if i have a boob job? do women really prefer a guy with a six-pack? should i straighten my hair? and on. but regardless of the well reasoned and unshaven argument you might not pull the dancing partner of your (media saturated) dreams if you look like jabba the hut.

maybe i’m being manipulated in some entertainment/industrial complex but i’m no stranger to the sweet trolley either and i think i’d like to be a bit more toned and less flabby when i flash my tats this summer. otherwise i’m going to do my back in puffing my chest out to compensate.

last year some 2.5 million people in the u.k. turned to the knife and underwent cosmetic surgery. most of these were ordinary folk seeking an improvement in their appearance. nevertheless, a bit extreme for an excess of chips and do you really want someone slicing and dicing your hooters?

a new clinic in vauxhall, london is offering what it calls a real alternative to cosmetic surgery with treatments for beer bellies, saggy bums, droopy boobs and many other post teenage, mid-life crisis dilemma’s. with the kit-off season fast approaching we couldn’t wait to investigate.

re:nu clinic is one of the first to offer a treatment that uses a computer controlled therapy that fools fat cells into releasing and redistributing the water that they hold. you lie down for up to 90 minutes while your therapist massages the area being treated with an applicator. before you start thinking about penis enlargement you should know that the applicator applies a high frequency microcurrent that is attuned to your bodies condition. you don’t feel a thing and you get up and walk away after.

lard arse nutrition

according to their website the system is based on a marriage of far eastern principles of acupuncture with western medical tech. whatever, the results are impressive with beer bellies reduced in just a few sessions. customer testimonials are equally impressive with boobs lifted, bums firmed and bellies busted.

it’s not cheap unless you compare it with the cosmetic surgery equivalent in which case it’s a bargain. sessions cost up to Ł150 a go and you may need up to 12 to complete a treatment. it might be cheaper to give up beer but if you need something shifting, lifting or firming re:nu have offered ammo city readers a 50% introductory discount for readers who book a course of treatments before 18th july.

how come the amazing discount? well i guess they reckon you’ll be so impressed that you’ll tell your mates. we were and we are.

to get the discount just print out this page and take it with you when you book. then lay back and think of how you’ll be putting it all back on again during the holidays.

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