a worthy investment
by chu sei on may 5, 2003, 23:18
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| tv tess co-operates at the deli counter |
(originally posted in the citizens forum)
perhaps jaded by email spam seemingly originating from west african princes and deposed rulers offering riches in exchange for providing 'no questions asked' money laundering - our resident ladyboy, chu sei, see's a gap in the market and get's in on the act, chiswick stylee...
i am mrs chusei the ladyboy, ex-employee of somerfields in brentford. i am moved to write you this letter, this was in confidence considering my present circumstances and situation.
i lost my job when i decided to quit in 1998, later my mate took over, before he handed over to another one of our mates in 1999. since then, mate number three and his allies have been serving on the deli counter, even working the bakery sometimes.
however, due to this situation i decided to change most of my £27.50 deposited in the halifax and my wallet into other forms of wallets and piggy banks for safe purpose because my mate number three has made arrangement with the abbey national and other high street banks to get me drunk and nick the money from my wallet.
hence, i decided to lay low in chiswick to study the situation till when things get better. like now that somerfields customers are buying more ham. my mate is a dangerous man, and as such i had to change my identity so that my investment will not be traced and robbed from me while i lay on my back, too pissed to move.
i have deposited the sum of 33 united kingdom pounds(£33.00) with a piggy bank for safe keeping. what i want you to do is to indicate your interest that you can find my piggy bank on my behalf, so that i can tell you the details and the modalities for the claim of the said funds. i want you to assist in investing this money, but i will not want my identity revealed. if people find out i'm spiderman, then chaos will happen. i will also want to acquire a pack of cigarettes and perhaps a bottle of whiskey and to engage in other safe and non-speculative investments as advises by your good self. preferably weed, and a couple of bongs.
may i at this point emphasize the high level of confidence, which this upcoming project demands, and hope you will not betray the trust and confidence which i repose on you. in conclusion, if you want to assist me, kindly reply this e-mail and i will tell you where the fund are currently being maintain and also discuss remuneration for your services.
yours sincerely,
chusei the ladyboy
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