prostitutes on the nhs?
by dyson bezel on jul 17, 2003, 23:11
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they have them in holland so why not here? that’s right, in holland you can go to a trained and registered sex therapist and get your rocks off, all on the chuff. here it's about sixty quid for a full personal in a lucky dip.
of course, in this post-feminist, man as woman, culture both sexes are presumed to be thinking about their next manicure or chi realignment. it might come as some surprise then, to whoever is in charge of brainwashing, that most of us like to get laid.
so the christian argument is that you find a partner, go on a few dates and if you press the right buttons (sorry i mean, if the chemistry's right) then robert’s your mothers brother. but it’s a bit of a long haul for a short slide isn’t it when all you want is a bit of slap and tickle, an ego massage, release of stress and a surge of serotonin?
and the prejudice to human kind's earliest trade is at a daily mail level of hysteria. how many times have you heard ‘i don’t need to pay for it, mate’ from some rugby playing wanker who works for a bank when really you know that he loves it up the jacksy? where’s he going to go when his soon to be wife doesn’t match up in the meat department?
both sexes get a bit pent up when they haven’t had a good seeing to and behave differently as a consequence. they can become moody, anxious, depressed, over competitive and so on. unless you’re mr rugger-bugger you must know what it’s like. this phenomenon comes at great expense to the economy and productivity of the nation not to mention costly harassment cases.
so why not put a smile on peoples faces, reduce the sick days, reduce anti-depressant dependency (packet of seroxat would buy you a good blow job) and general stress by having nhs registered prozzies?
think of all the time and money it would save the british tax payer. by introducing a self-certification system, on the internet perhaps or by txting, waiting lists to see your g.p. would be slashed. this would be because you wouldn’t be waiting behind sad-faced psycho’s that just need a good shag. police time would be saved by reducing the number of domestics between couples arguing over differing libido’s and ‘how it was different when they first met’ and ‘how could you fuck my best mate?’.
modern day stresses in our dual income free market economy often interfere with mankind’s biological programming, a flaw that surely a government sponsored pharmaceutical company will rectify. you might not be or want to be in a relationship, your partner may not satisfy certain aspects of your sexuality, you need a serotonin boost, whatever so how about a quick one?
how different is it from visiting a psychotherapist or a chiropractor? is it just the qualifications? even amongst these ‘professions’ it’s hard to determine who is good or bad or if their qualifications mean shit. so what would be the harm of legalised, registered brothels?
surely, like weed, legalising a trade that cuts across all social groups just means our boys in blue have more time to do proper jobs. why would you want to bust in on someone for getting their jollies perhaps destroying their life by exposing their secret pleasure?
yes, i can hear the howls of protest from the calvinists and limp wristed liberals alike. tarquin wants to talk about oppressed eastern europeans and sex slaves. jojo mentions aids, human degradation and doesn’t it fund terrorists and so on. but, of course, all that happens when it’s not legalised. once legal, registered with services to meet all budgets including an nhs option why would one bother with the postcard route unless, like chopping a line, it’s part of the thrill?
malcolm mclaren, as part of his mayoral election campaign declared that not only would he legalise brothels he would also provide one opposite the houses of parliament. this would, naturally, save the tax payer significantly in terms of car, chauffer, hush fees and security next time our politicians are partying off goodge street. but thanks for the bung, where does it go on my tax form?
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